Why fear what others will say and think? How do we really know they’re judging us for us and not for some projection of themselves? How much more light can we let in if we purposefully make a few cracks?

Why fear what others will say and think?

It’s natural to worry about how we are perceived and how others will respond to us. It’s the social survival mechanism of our brain at work. It means we care about the people in our lives, care about keeping them in our lives, and care about adding something good to their lives.

How do we really know they’re judging us for us and not for some projection of themselves?

It’s easier to give someone the benefit of the doubt when we choose to look at someone as a mirror image of ourselves and ask “When have I behaved like this and what was my reason?” If we’re paying the right attention to our answer, this same question can lead us to our own growth and healing.

How much more light can we let in if we purposefully make a few cracks?

Pain and discomfort are signals from the brain that we’re headed into unknown territory, where our safety is uncertain. When we decide that what lies on the other side is worth our present unease, we set ourselves up to learn all about that unknown territory and expand the world in which we feel safe. It takes a special kind of instinct to break out of our shells, our chrysalises.

It takes an instinct for flight.


Also published on Medium.


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